Welcome to Camp Funk

                                        

Got lost somewhere these past few weeks but I think it's what my soul needed.

Between a bad infection (had a bad reaction to not only 1 of the drugs they gave me but all 3) and having to go to the ER late one night with my awesome husband ..we're seeing a light at the end of the tunnel hopefully. Of course it had to be a day we were at a volleyball tournament all day too..up at 3am😀

I'm never sick or feeling yucky so when I do it sucks...emotionally too when you take weird drugs.

Prescription drugs don't jive with me at all.

kids were busy

I was in my quiet spot

Dave and I check in all day on each other

thanks to me pestering him all day while he works😒

my soul felt kind of ugly and more emotional (throw in all the odd drugs) these last few weeks

my soul needed some nourishment and probably 102 years of rest or just some really good hiking

sometimes I want to wait for the ugliness to come out

maybe when I have more energy to clean up the mess after it comes out 

all these years of friendship and marriage has made my silver fox into a special agent husband

I'm the captain of my ship and I was going down right there with it.

sometimes that happens and 

sometimes we shrug it off

sometimes we choose to shrug off love and care to avoid the pain of vulnerability and transparency.

we can lose our souls a little at a time by exchanging honesty and truth for the ease of dysfunction. 

i never have a problem spilling my guts on a nice new fancy floor or sofa

I seem to leak ugliness out a little at a time so whoever's listening can slowly take it in

no need to drown anyone

i try to avoid the landmines of despair and guilt

Jesus is the miracle worker here

The longer we love each other the more amazed I am at the importance of the quiet moments when storms rage from within our hearts 

they help me become more comfortable with living in the middle of unanswerable questions

or mourning over broken ways of life, failed efforts and the eternal balancing act of hope and fear

Vulnerability is the lesson from Job over and over again.  

There are answers I may never get from God 

What I(we) need most of all is for someone to see my(our) heart(s) and love me(us)💚

We are all human with scars and brokenness 

We all need each other desperately

kindness, vulnerability, sacrificial love, mercy believing the best.

these traits make it safe to own the ugliness and love bravely 

shut off or tune out whatever's playing around you

in order to be the closet thing to Jesus someone has seen today

a life lived like that will save our souls and change our families and communities.  

I hope we can be brave enough to live it