Thursday, September 30, 2010

My parents took us camping for Labor Day weekend in Lacrosse.
This is the hill they were rolling down.
Attitude
Being goofy
She was making coffee

Love those moments

Swimming in 50 degree weather
Still making coffee
We are so thankful and Blessed!

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

The end of our watermelon season
Love the mess

Sunday, September 26, 2010

1 of many mistakes
This is a long one...pull up a chair!!

The other day when I was digging through my old rubbermaids from when I was younger, I couldn't help but read some of my old journals. 
I have 3 boxes full
Started when I was in 8th grade to help me with my dreams and sleepwalking but loved it so much I still do it on and off.  Some of them are so funny and what I wrote just cracked me up. 
My kids cannot read them until they are older.
I went through a lot of crazy things in my days and they do not need to know .....yet
Some day I'll right about it and then you'll really think I'm crazy!
I have a seriously vivid imagination and I just wrote whatever I thought. 
Out of high school I developed an eating disorder that lasted 5 years.  It was and on/off game we(a few girls) played that became a problem.  Please do not take this the wrong way but I was never a person who was concerned with my looks or what people thought of me.  God made me for who I was and loved me just the way I AM.   I just enjoyed life played sports and hung out with whoever I felt with.  I preferred guys because women had so much drama and they just cared what they looked way more than I ever did.  I never matched and I was very carefree. 
 It all started with a dare to eat a whole chocolate cake and progressed from there.  It became a game to see who could eat the most stuff and throw it up.
Couldn't hurt us, all we were doing was throwing it up.
Easy and fun and we could eat a ton of food.
I LOVE FOOD
Over time it obviously became and addiction and I started to get sick from it all and lost weight and hair and my teeth got bad and all sorts of other minor things.
I just couldn't stop.
This is great I thought.
This wasn't an image thing for me it was an addiction to food.
So, one day when I was still living at home and working, I came home on luch break and I was BUSTED. 
Ya see, it got so hard for me to actually vomit that I had to find a seriously long buter knife to help me everytime I did.  I used the butt end of it and it worked like a champ. 
That one day, the knife got stuck and lodged behind my front teeth and I had to call my mom at work.  We worked at the nursing home together.  Could you imagine that.  I'll never forget the look on her face.  Scared, shock, anger, she wasn't quite sure what I was doing, she had never heard of an eating disorder.
That day forth was a battle.
I had to let her in on all that I was hiding and try to get her to understand. 
I was a believer then but I had no realationship with the Lord.
I talked to him all the time but never listened to him or opened my ears or heart to him, never fully gave myself to him.
My mom was always praying for me or giving me little notes with scipture on but I never wanted to listen, just saved them and would reread from time to time.
She read book after book and watched me like a hawk.
She knew nothing about this. 
I continued on my way. 
Throwing up at various places around the city or wherever I could find.
It was just so much fun to eat 10 fresh chocolate do nuts from Super America, a box of Kentucky Fried Chicken and wash it down with a chocolate shake.
whole coffee cakes 
do nuts
do nuts were my thing
I knew the gas station(Super America)man  
Looking at my journals, it's what I could eat.
I kept it up for a couple more years and went through therapists left and right. 
Never liked one of them.  Of course not, I wanted to keep doing this and they are trying to stop me and tell me I have all these issues wrong with me, that is why you are doing this they would say.
My mom finally said if you are going to live with us(I paid all of my own things, rent, food, phone, car insurance, misc... living there, which I loved and respected my parents for)you will follow my rules.  I worked 3 jobs.  I knew I didn't want to go to college.  I just want to have kids and run an orphanage and take in all the stray and ugly animals that got left behind.  
Big hopes and dreams.  I would just work like a mad man, which I did and loved.
Really, what do I have to do now, I thought
I will try something else to see if we can end this vicious cycle
I checked myself  into this great facility in Waukesha.  They don't have this anymore but I liked it. 
It was kind of run like and in and out program where you stay there overnight if you want and you could go to work too.  Very flexible.
You had to constantly get exams, nurses would call and  check in on your phone , write down everything from eating to peeing to what you do every 15 minutes.  
My goodness this is a lot of busy work and to work at my job at the same time, are you kidding me.
I met a lot of wonderful people there and noticed myself changing slowly but 
I just couldn't believe what some of these girls did just to feel pretty.  It just broke my heart because that wasn't what I was feeling.
I had good days and bad days
I would revisit the local drive thru and gas station and eat until my hearts content
The Dr.'s knew
It was funny, I thought back then at least, when  I would see other girls from the facility being sneaky and doing the same thing. 
Buying diet pills or laxatives or gorging on food
We all just had this thing in common. They were all great friends.
It took some time before I stopped playing this game and finally checked out of their program after a year
I felt like I was in a deep valley trying to constantly crawl up the side and just kept falling.  I needed to get out of my comfort zone and move to a different city.  Away from it all.
There was a lot of other things going on at this time as well, but I will save that for another post or your going to fall of your chair.
I moved out on my own in Milwaukee and thought I could handle it. 
I started going to a different church there
Praying, praying and praying
Doubt kept nibbling at my heart and mind
Bless my mom she sent me letters at least every other day.
I tried to pray more and take Jesus more seriously
The urge would come and go  and I would try it again and it was different each time.  It was really really hard for me to throw up and a lot of work. 
It wasn't easy
I kept getting frustrated and getting discouraged and it was not fun anymore
Pray
I knew God understood how fragile I could be my faith could waiver
Pray
Faith
Maybe I should start reading my bible.  That's why he addresses faith so much in the Bible. Right.
Faith comes from hearing and hearing by the word of God. 
Romans 10:17
One more day, day after day.   I thought, I can do it
I just kept getting a belly ache because the food would not come up anymore.
The fun was gone
God was healing me
A lukewarm heart towards God's word and a doubting mind go hand in hand.   
All I had to do was ask God's spirit to open my heart and mind to recieve what he has to show me
Speak to me
Speak to ME
My faith grew and grew as I heard and believed the WORD of GOD
Every choice we make takes us into one particular direction.  We can choose to stay stuck and in our situation or we can choose to begin a new life. 
I am not born a winner.  I am not born a loser.  I am born a chooser. 
We tend to seek HAPPINESS when happiness is a choice.
I choose to follow God for a new life.
I know myself more now than I ever did back then.  
What would we do without God's grace
My mistakes were huge and selfish 
I'm FORGIVEN and LOVED
God understands my thoughts and actions(he may not like them) and puts the pieces back together again. 
It makes me ME!  Thank you for hearing my story.....You can wake up now!!!!!

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Pudding Fun! 

 They do have figurines in there.
Odin being a piggy.
Pudding was a lot more fun than shaving cream! 

Friday, September 24, 2010

Blessings
We have been blessed by so many wonderful donations and people that have opened their hearts to us.  May you all be richly rewarded and blessed beyond measure.
2 Corinthians 9:8-11
 God can pour on the blessings in astonishing ways so that you're ready for anything and everything, more than just ready to do what needs to be done. As one psalmist puts it,
He throws caution to the winds,
giving to the needy in reckless abandon.
His right-living, right-giving ways
never run out, never wear out.
This most generous God who gives seed to the farmer that becomes bread for your meals is more than extravagant with you. He gives you something you can then give away, which grows into full-formed lives, robust in God, wealthy in every way, so that you can be generous in every way, producing with us great praise to God.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

This little guy is obsessed with the whole Worker man thing!


If anyone would love to give this little guy a free ride in anything with big wheels....it would make his day! 

Tuesday, September 21, 2010



Shaving Cream Fun

They love to do this!  I just forgot to have them put their suits on.

Monday, September 20, 2010

Jeremiah's Masterpiece


I have never had any of the other kids do this, except him!  I got the wall taken care of, but I cannot get it off of the floor.  I'll take any ideas!
Thank you all for the prayers and kind words too!  We would not be able to do what we do without you all!  Much Love!!

Friday, September 17, 2010

Signs! 
We Ammended our home Study awhile back and we were waiting  for our new I-171 H and it came. 
Yup!
The Lord has changed our heart. after some serious prayers and fasting these past months, he put something more on it!  I will get straight to the point.  We changed our child preference to siblings under 2.  Boy/girl twins or an older girl and infant boy.
We knew in our hearts that we would like to adopt a baby boy after we got this adoption done and the kids kept asking for more.  Please mom, let's get 2 or 3 .  It was priceless.  I love to see all the love they have to give and they are so excited.  We are being obedient to what Christ has put upon our hearts and are so excited. 
After we signed the paperwork  it was like clockwork. 
 Signs, Signs everywhere there's Signs!  I am a big fan of Signs! The next day we(Odin, Jonah and I) were helping at the Salvation Army in the food lines.  Jonah looks up at me during a quiet moment and says look mom, they are twins and points to the 2 (11 years old) boys next to us.   One was by Jonah and one by Odin.  Jonah then says to the boys, we just prayed about you last night and you are here today. I am not quite sure what those boys were thinking besides that we were weird or something.  God answered our prayers.  We had to explain a little to the boys but they were so cute and happy about it.  It was a great conversation piece.  God is so awesome and so so so faithful.  We didn't want to miss out on this invitation that God was extending to us. 
Why not. 
We have room in our hearts and house.
We stopped planning our lives long ago. 
There are millions of orphans who need families. 
Families just like yours. 
Like ours. 
Like your neighbors. 
 Your friends. 
God is not leaving us to figure out if and when we should adopt and how.  We believe he is simply crying out to his people saying,"These are my children. Who will adopt them? Will you?"
Galatians 2:20

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.
We again ask for your prayers and support. 
We do realize you might think we are nuts but we are ok with that. 
This also means we will outgrow the van....


Thursday, September 16, 2010


Random shots!




Exciting news coming soon!

Wednesday, September 15, 2010



A little late but the
First day of school.
We had our usual ice cream sundaes for breakfast(then they want to go to bed 2 hours after they get there).  This has been a fun tradition for the first and last day of school.  The kids were all so excited to start.  I was sad of course.  Still thinking, I could somehow manage to homeschool. I was not the brightest in school but held a B average.  I could always teach recess and art right.  I give all you homeschooling moms so so much credit!!!  
Would love too...
It always breaks my heart to send them.  I just want to be with them all day.  I just love my kids!
Check out Jonah's socks.  Maybe...someday my children will want to match.
Jeremiah thinking he's going to school that day too. 
Everyone is doing great.  Olivia seems to have a harder time coming in the classroom, but is fine after I peel her off me. 

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

8


September 7th was our wedding anniversary and Yes-I totally forgot.  I knew the date(seriously) but I thought it was in a few weeks.  September came in out of no-where. Brings back so many memories.  It seems so long ago yet just  a few years ago. 
Circus tent with lights

We had such a fun time at our wedding.   We set up everything except the tent.  We have done so much, had all 4 our kids in 5 years and moved 7 times. 

No gifts, just a barn for donations

 380 of our friends and family
Pig roast in our yard along the river
miss our wonderful neighbors
hot and humid
my dad and I
popcorn machine
dance floor on the grass
wildflowers
sundresses and sandles
running around getting all my cds for the dj 5 minutes before the wedding
port o potties & sinks
A lot more work doing it yourself but it was beautiful!

The Lord changed our lives from then on.  It was a new start for both of us.
I married an awesome, handsome best friend, a heroic husband and an unconditional loving father to be.  (I got pregnant on our honeymoon-totally odd dream Dave had.  I'll tell you that story some other time.) 

Certain people just seem made for each other because they understand and believe in each other...
because they fill each other's needs and support each other's dreams...
because all the little nooks and crannies of their lives somehow fit together just so...
Our lives are always filled with love, pain, laughter, happiness, kindness, tears of joy and tears of sorrow, and adventure.  Happy Anniversary David!